Why We Need To Say “No”

Have you ever been in a situation where you were asked to do something you didn’t want to do? Yet you did it anyway? Told yourself you’d never do that again, only to find yourself spending more time satisfying the needs of others before your needs are met? Seems easier to just get it done and avoid a conflict or hurt someones feelings! Challenge is you’ve become a people pleaser, the needs or others is a priority, yours are often not addressed. Not suggesting you should be selfish and not help someone out, however there’s a fine line which must be in accordance with your own needs.

We are all gifted with our own personalities, yet some lean toward an agreeable type which focuses on always being available to help and serve needs of others even before ours are a thought. An issue with this type of personality is when people know it and take advantage of you. At heart we all want to be there to lend a hand and make a difference in someones life, it’s human nature! We’re programmed that way. A felling of satisfaction when your recognized and praised by another person for helping out. We should consider a few things so we are not taken advantage of:

Being to agreeable and never saying no to things you don’t have time for. One of my colleagues was asked to take on more work and more responsibility, at first there was no issue, but after a few weeks, he was overwhelmed, the company was testing him to see how he’d react when the pressure was on. The company had no idea how stressed out he was, and before long my friend could hardly keep ahead with the workload, taking work home at night and working late every day. No day’s off, No Vacations. Over time many mistakes were made which cost the company money.

Say “Uncle” when you know something doesn’t feel right. We need to pay attention to how we feel when that feeling something wrong is present in out thoughts. Usually our initial reaction is the right one.

Ever find yourself agreeing with other people even when you know you don’t agree? Someone at your company is stating an opinion and you nod in agreement. We live in a society where agreeing with another persons opinion allows us to fit in with that group of people, we are accepted because we agree with a particular point of view. When we agree our morals and values become in question.

There is a balance between your needs and those of other people. It’s been said you can’t help people unless you help yourself, if all our time is spent on others we neglect what’s important in our own lives, this can leave us emotionally drained and unfulfilled. Putting yourself first isn’t selfish, it’s a balance between kind to others and recognizing our our self worth.

As humans we all seek the acceptance of people, however we can’t please everyone, at some point you’ll run into someone who does not agree with you, don’t take it personal or waste your time trying to change there minds sometimes it just happens. You’d be better off if you walk away from the situation and cut your losses. In the long run you’ll be much better off.

You must first accept who you are before other people will accept you. If you set parameters as to how you feel about yourself, so will other people. Don’t get upset with another persons opinion. Accept it and move on, respecting your own feelings is the first step in living a life of freedom.

Next time your asked to do something you don’t want to do you say no, you might just find more time for you!

~Stay Strong~

~Steven~